singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
