no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
