need another drink. this is the easiest way
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
