she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
