your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
