that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
vagina is talking i cant
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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