I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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