you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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