I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
