It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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