i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
