She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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