Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
