jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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