I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
