After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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