can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
