Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
