I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
