i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
