I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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