let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
