and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Boobs speak an international language.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
