I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
