I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
