R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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