your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
