Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
