White coat. Heels.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
