How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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