i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
