i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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