PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
