I wanna bring you to show and tell
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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