Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
