i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
