And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Randomize
