Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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