Buhtt sex?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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