we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Never underestimate the power of titties
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
