oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
