Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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