as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
this hospital has no fireball
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
