Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
