my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize
