you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
