whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
