i don't like sucking hair
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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