Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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