She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
