Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
are you so shy because you have an std?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
