What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
