I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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