we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
it's like iHOP with fire
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
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