How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
